This birthday felt different.
As I continue walking through a season of tremendous change—preparing to sell the home and land that have held so much of my life and following a dream that has called me to Sedona for decades—I noticed an old, familiar feeling surfacing. A little girl within me was afraid. Each step into the unknown awakened fears she had carried for a very long time, and occasionally she would find herself trying to drive the bus, sending me spiraling into overwhelm.
During a guided Clarity Breathwork session with my amazing teacher and mentor, Ashanna Solaris (one of the founders of Clarity Breathwork), I was able to meet her—not as a memory or a story, but as a precious little one who simply needed to be held. I wrapped my arms around her, felt her fear, and gently promised, “You are safe now. You don’t have to carry this alone anymore. I am here, and I will always love and protect you.”
That experience stayed with me. As my sixty-fifth birthday approached, I felt called to celebrate not only the woman I have become, but also the little girl who had waited so long to feel safe. I created a birthday altar just for her, filling it with flowers, a favorite blanket, a cupcake with sprinkles, and tiny treasures that whispered, “You belong. You are cherished. You are deeply loved.” Preparing that altar became healing in itself.
Just a few days later, I returned for another breathwork session—a beautiful rebirthing experience where I welcomed her into the love, safety, and tenderness she had always deserved.
One of the unexpected gifts of this journey over the last few years has been forgiveness. As I have continued my own healing, I have come to see the adults who welcomed me into this world with new eyes. They truly did the best they could while carrying wounds of their own. That understanding doesn’t erase what was missing, but it has softened my heart and opened it to compassion.
Today, I no longer wish to change my story. I simply want every version of me to know she is loved. And perhaps that is what healing is all about—not becoming someone new, but lovingly embracing every part of who we have always been.